


Cadence

by kiwifruit



Category: Free!
Genre: 8D, M/M, flufff?, i was desperate for makoharu interaction okay, mako waiting for haru to come back from aus :'), many tears, post episode 12, this was much needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 01:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2330885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwifruit/pseuds/kiwifruit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> '  “Welcome back, Haru.” </i>
</p><p>  <i>My eyes widened in surprise, and it took a few moments for me to register the familiar voice. </i></p><p>  <i>Makoto?  ' </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Cadence

**Author's Note:**

> _it's okay, it's love_

 

 

 

The air outside was warmer than the air-conditioned confines of the train, and I tugged the sleeves of my jumper up to my elbows.

I was beyond exhausted - my eyelids were threatening to glue themselves down, and my mind felt like a mist had set in. 

Dragging my tired feet along the concrete pavement, I plodded down the quiet street, feeling my shoulder bag banging against my thigh with every step. I wondered if anyone had known where I had been. If they had known, I wondered how hurt Makoto would have felt. I needed to apologise to him, even if he’s already given up on me-

 

 

“Welcome back, Haru.”

 

My eyes widened in surprise, and it took a few moments for me to register the familiar voice.

 

_Makoto?_

I forced myself to turn around.

Makoto stood in front of me – a tired look on his face. All I could do was gaze into his eyes, wondering if all the pain I could see in its depth were inflicted by my words.

 

I wasn’t ready, but I had to, I had to-

 

“How was Australia?” He asked, and he cocked his head slightly to the side before giving me a tired but gentle smile. A smile I didn’t deserve; a smile that shouldn’t be wasted on someone like me.

 

I wished I could return it.

 

“Makoto…” I spoke, but it was too soft that even I could hardly hear it. I tried again. “Makoto… I-“

 

I didn’t know how to say it.

 

I wanted to tell him that I was sorry. I wanted to tell him that I was wrong, and it was wrong of me to shout at him like that, and I was wrong to insult him so selfishly. I wanted to tell him that I supported his decisions, whatever they were. 

 

But I wanted to tell him other things, too.

 

I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t want to be separated from him. I wanted to tell him that I was going to miss him; and that I would spend everyday thinking about him even though I knew I was going to gradually fade away from his memories.

 

I wanted to tell him that I loved him.

 

 

It disgusted me how selfish I was. I felt awful. I _was_ awful.

 

But nothing would change if I just depended on him to say everything like usual. I had to say it – I had to say everything.

 

 

“I’m…. sorry.” I choked out, and my throat felt tight, constricting. “I’m _sorry_.” I gasped a final time before the hot tears pooling around in my eyes spilt over and ran down my face.

 

This wasn’t the time for _tears_ ; I had so much things I had to say- so much I needed him to know.

 

I couldn’t make out Makoto’s expression anymore through my tears, but I could tell anyway – he was hurt; angry – I could see his unsmiling face in my mind, his usually kind eyes cold and empty – expecting, demanding.

 

“I’m… sorry that I shouted at you…Makoto. I-“ I tried to control my shallow, ragged breaths, “I was wrong about… everything, and… I…”

 

It was scaring me that there was no response from Makoto. More tears leaked out, and I bit my lip hard to keep from sobbing out loud. I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, so I stare at the ground instead.

 

“I… understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, and I understand if… you’re angry at me for saying things like that.”

 

Each word was pitched higher than the last as I tried to squeeze out all the words out of my throat.

 

“So… please… don’t…”

 _Hate me_.

 

And before I realised that he had even moved, Makoto suddenly had his arms wrapped tight around me, his body pressing against mine.

 

It took me a moment to realise that he was crying, too.

 

“Haru… Haru…” He repeated, over and over again. “You don’t need to apologise anymore, please, just… please don’t cry like that.”

 

I grit my teeth, swallowing my sobs down. “I’m… not crying.”

 

Burying my face into his shoulder, I reached out to grab onto the back of his shirt with shaking hands. I scrunch it up in my fist, feeling the cool cotton against my palm.

 

The warmth of his embrace, the security of this place inside his arms – I couldn’t keep anything in anymore.

 

“Makoto… I- I don’t want to be separated from you, I don’t want to be a fading fragment of your memory for the rest of your life until I don’t exist in your world anymore, I-“

 

I couldn’t control myself anymore, and I could feel Makoto gently rubbing my back as I heaved with sobs. I didn’t care.

 

“I love you, Makoto, and I don’t care if you don’t feel the same – I want to be with you.”

 

Makoto’s hand suddenly stopped its soothing movements, and I realised my mistake.

 

That was a full out _confession_.

 

“I-I’m sorry…!” I stuttered, pulling away from him. I could feel my face burning. “I didn’t mean to say that, I’m sorry-“

 

I was nearly free to sprint back home and contemplate what I had done for the rest of eternity, but then Makoto tugged me back to him with his idiotic strength, and I slammed back against his body hard enough to hurt.

 

“Haru, please tell me you meant what you said.” He breathed, his arms tightening around me, “I’m- I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have forced you and shouted at you to change. I should have known how tired and stressed you were, just like back at the race. I don’t deserve you, but…but I love you, Haru, I love you, I _love you.”_

There was silence for a full tick of the clock, and in that moment, I knew what I wanted.

 

“…Makoto?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

I hadn’t noticed, but my tears had stopped falling. “Is it okay?

 

“What’s okay?”

 

I took a shaky breath.

 

“…if- If I come with you to Tokyo…”

 

For a few painful moments, he was silent, and the only sound I could hear was the sound of my heart thudding in my ears.

 

But then I heard him take a sharp, quivering breath before pulling me even closer to him, pressing his face into my shoulder. I could feel the warmth of his tears seeping into my shirt.

“Why- why would you even ask?” He whispered, and I smiled before winding my arms around his neck.

“Why are you crying now?”

 

I couldn’t see his face, but somehow, I knew he was smiling.

 


End file.
